Quadrant 1

Have you ever been stuck at FGCU after a brutal night of Mexican food only to find that you have class before you can unload the problems that are stirring inside your stomach? The answer from all FGCU students is "yes!" I know this applies to you because you are reading this blog. Don't be embarrassed - we all have this problem.

When you have these "Taco Shits" as they are so vulgarly called, you have several options for restrooms on campus. This post will cover what you should do if you are in Quadrant 1, which incorporates all of the following buildings: Lutgert Hall, AB7, and AB8.

If you are in dire need - the best chance you have to unload your problems in a private clean facility before you unload them around friends is to rush over to Lutgert Hall. I suggests doing the duck-waddle technique. This may look weird but it involves running bow-legged. While weird, it does hold in what used to be Mexican food that probably will come out looking the same.

Once in Lutgert Hall, take the elevator to the third floor. I do not recommend taking the stairs as the motion of climbing stairs will likely cause your bowels to release a deadly plague of former Mexican food upon the stairs. Students, Faculty, and the Cleaning people will not like this. Please do not do it. Take the few extra seconds and take the elevator.

At the third floor find the restrooms. They are located to the right towards the end of the hallway. The only drawback to these bathrooms is that there is a table nearby that sometimes has one student reading. If this is the case, it is okay. That is likely a business student who knows about doing "business" (see what I did there?)

These bathrooms have a very clean atmosphere and are rarely used by students. If someone enters the bathroom it is likely a faculty member who does not care about you taking a dump. At least that is how you can justify it in your head. But this rarely happens so no need to worry.

I enjoy the non-handicap stall because it offers excellent privacy. The stall does not have typical stall walls. Instead, you have a lovely tile decorated regular wall on either side of you. The door locks well without any worry of anyone interrupting you during this intimate time of your life.